Are you offended by names?

[geordieboi]

We've all heard the names that we get called - puffs, fags, queers, and the rest. It's one thing that doesn't bother me in the slightest, in fact I often refer to myself as a "puff"!

Couple of times recently I've been chatting with straight mates and I've mentioned the word "puff", and they've been quite surprised that I've referred to myself using that word as they thought it was offensive.

So what does everyone else think?

[badonf]

yeh ive been called just about anythin u can think of but i dont really let that get to me really lol what i am is what i am is what u r oohh wah

[badpup]

Can't really answer that one. it's one of those PC grey areas. If another gay person screams across the bar..."Hoi! Where's my drink ya fat puff?" then, after swilling them, i don't take offence. however if i'm just walking down the street and someone yells "Oi! Pufta!" then usually there's some retaliation!

[dazza190574]

I've been called all sorts, but the one thing that annoys me is people assuming I am straight! Then not believing me when I say I am gay. I mean how many times do you have to tell these women!?!?

I usually call myself a dirty puff and call one of my mates Homo Simpson.

[wildeman]

Black people used to call each other "[word removed]" but would fiercely react to any white person who did the same. This began to change a few years ago after a major awareness campaign to stop the use of such words reminded the younger generations of how many people were killed by white people to make the point that all humans are created equal.

Awareness of more than what's in the charts or the latest label may not be "fashionable" and many people seem to think that as long as there are places to drink, cruise, dance and anti gay attacks are less frequent than ten years ago, there's nothing to worry about.

Lighthearted "banter" amongst friends is one thing, but allowing others to use derogatory terms against us unchallenged can only serve to devalue us all.

[kingdomcome]

The title of this thread needed to clearer! WE can call ourselves 'puffs' etc but heterosexuals calling us names and not in a friendly manner,is offensive to most.

[rebelyell]

Not really... people just telling it like it is really.
I've found that calling them dirty hetty breeders normally has them puzzled.

I HATE the word fag*ot with a passion though for some reason.

[ladymissc]

The terms I find offensive are 'lesbian' (what is that about? We all come from Lesbos do we? Like all black ppl must be 'Africans'?) and 'homosexual' in a 1940s BBC newsreader style. I don't understand why there can't be gay men and women - why 'gay men and lesbians'??
When I'm talking to friends (all of whom know I'm gay) I will use language that would be really offensive used by a straight person ie gay person, queer etc. But then I'm allowed. Context is indeed all.

[rebelyell]

Haha! I love the way all the hated words have been moderated. making us look like c*nts!

[jodieneve]

I deliver LGBT Awareness raising training for Derwentside Domestic Violence Forum. The majority of the delegates on the training are straight and work within services in the area (social services, housing, council etc.) One of our favourite ways to stop the PC Bullshit as I like to call it, is the icebreaker that we use. We get all of our delegates to stand around in a circle and they have to think of words that are used to describe gay (offensive or otherwise), if the can't think of one or say one that has already been said then they are out of the game. We then ask them what they noticed about all of the terminology, they obviously notice that much of it is negative in connotation. Then we ask them would it be worth doing the same exercise with terms for straights, which wouldn't even get round the room. This way they get to stop wondering what is the appropriate terminology and if they are a bigot it can help to embarras them... it's an interesting exercise.

[vickipollard]

hey jodieneve, and everyone else! as far as names are concerned i agree with everyone just as "gay" ... i h8 dyke though! at the end of the day though i'd rather be called a dyke than my real name any day lol .....vicki pollard xxx

[ladymissc]

Nice post jodie thanx for that - it's true in a lot of ways that there aren't any positive words for gays - unless they are reclaimed & empowerd like 'nigga' in a new blak context. I think that by being happily gay and out myself and using potentially derogatory terminology like 'queer, gay person, dyke' just casually in conversation ensures that the sting is taken out of these words, & they become descriptive not offensive.

[tightass]

I don't have a problem with any particular name and I am sure I have been called them all by now!

The one slight exception is 'queer' as to me it means 'odd' or 'unwell' as in feeling queer but it probably stems from it being my parents terminology for gays. Don't go near so and so's house, he's queer!

Al

[Ouija]

I agree that it depends on the context of the actual conversation. I think most of us would find that if our close friends used these words/phrases towards us in jest during a conversation, we wouldn't bat an eyelid.

The problems start when others (especially people we don't know that well, or in particular - strangers) try and use the words to be hurtful or disrespectful.

I always try and ignore any smart arse comments, but sometimes - as I'm sure we're all aware of - it can be very difficult...

Ouija.